just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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