literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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