It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
