Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
