i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i dont even know how to be here
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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