Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
