what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
