I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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