she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
