The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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