Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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