I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
