He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
