alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sober January is a disaster.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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