I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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