Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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