My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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