to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
