There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize