So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
