You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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