We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
