I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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