idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
