my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
