wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Randomize