Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dicks are not precious.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
