at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
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I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
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You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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