If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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