haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
