She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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