my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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