i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
