After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
