party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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