Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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