She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
me + whiskey = a bad person
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
