He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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