I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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