Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
