why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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