I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
