"it" just moved
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
