So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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