seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize