Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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