Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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