How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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