We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
