I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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