I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Everclear isn't food dammit
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
