I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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