i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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