I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
