I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The dick lei will go down in squad history
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
