Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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