I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
