google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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