My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
