he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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