She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
