Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
