New invention idea: vibrating tampons
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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